What the Kimye divorce can teach us about relationships in the age of social media

What the Kimye divorce can teach us about relationships in the age of social media
WNUR News
What the Kimye divorce can teach us about relationships in the age of social media

Jan 27 2022 | 00:14:53

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Episode 0 January 27, 2022 00:14:53

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Speaker 1 00:00:04 Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from Kanye west. After nearly seven years of marriage, Speaker 2 00:00:09 Kanye west Kim Kardashian Speaker 3 00:00:12 Divorced, Kim Kardashian has officially filed for divorce from her house. Speaker 4 00:00:16 When Kanye west, the announcement of Kim Kardashian west and Kanye west divorce is the latest and the seemingly never ending stream of celebrity breakups after abundant speculation, about the reality of their marriage. Kenya is splitting up for many. It's not a surprise part ashy and west and her relationships, including her marriage make headlines. Every day. People have been paying attention. Speaker 4 00:00:47 According to author clinical psychologist and professor of marriage, 1 0 1 at Northwestern, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, this public pressure can be tough on a relationship. Speaker 6 00:00:59 The fact that he was having a relationship being commented on and seeing, you know, different images of yourself and your partner, you know, you pick magazine and all these different like outlets that it creates a level of exhaustion and a kind of pressure to be talking, not just about relationship stuff, but also talking about feedback. They're getting the criticisms are getting, how are we going to handle the criticisms that we're getting? So it just adds another layer of like relationship work. Speaker 4 00:01:28 According to time, the chances of getting a divorce currently stand at about 39% in the United States, but many speculate that celebrity divorce rates could be higher regardless of if they are. We certainly seem to hear about celebrity divorces a lot. The thing is, according to Dr. Solomon, the pressures of the relationships are more similar to our own than you might think. Speaker 6 00:01:51 This is something that transcends both celebrity and non-celebrity couples, because every couple needs to have practices around boundaries to be a couple is to put a boundaries around the two of you and say that there are things that happen between the two of us that we aren't going to be sharing with other people. But I always talked about that boundary needs to be a semipermeable boundary because I think it is really important for couples to stay connected to their systems of support their friends, their family. Speaker 4 00:02:20 So am I supposed to believe that on some level Kim Kardashian and I can face similar pressures, how is that possible? According to clinical psychologist, Dr. Oman Mussa, a lot of it might be from social media, Speaker 2 00:02:33 Um, the way that people present themselves and their relationships, even on social media, there's a huge positivity bias. So people are going to post their best moments. They're going to post their happiest moments. They're not going to post really about the difficult times about the arguments that they get in. We also know from research that expressing appreciation to your partner is huge and happiness of a relationship and health of our relationship. So really, if you are just focusing on the negatives all the time, it's going to be really unhealthy for the relationship. The other side of it kind of relates to like trying to put out a certain image, trying to conform, oh, I feel like I have to post something happy about my relationship. There may be this need to focus more on the image of the relationship rather than really connecting to your partner. You know, if you're going out on a date really focusing on, okay, what are we going to post? What are we going to show rather than just having that quality time together? So there's certainly that aspect of being in the spotlight, even for normal people Speaker 4 00:03:32 In a pure research survey, a third of single and looking respondents said social media makes them feel worse about their dating life. And for 20 somethings in a relationship, a third of them also reported that they've faced jealousy and uncertainty in their relationship from social media. So it's not being, paparazzied constantly like the Kardashians, but social media definitely takes a toll on our relationships in a similar way. How can we stop divorce rates from reaching celebrity levels with social media in our way, Dr. Mussa says that understanding ourselves and what makes us feel loved can help a lot. Speaker 2 00:04:06 I think it really is about, you know, connecting to your partner and having those conversations about what your needs are in the relationship and knowing that what, what makes you happy is different than what may might make another couple happy. You know, it's important to be mindful of your own needs in the relationship. And you know, maybe when you are having quality time together, try to put your phones away, try to not focus on other things, kind of disconnect from that public aspect to really just privately focus on one another Speaker 4 00:04:47 For WMUR news, I'm Helen Bradshaw.

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